Adventures in Toilet Training

Go away so I can poo. I will read Curious George.

2009-06-02T19:17:00.000-07:00

For a few weeks now the small boy has been throwing me out of the bathroom so he can wipe his own bum in private. (He's not very good at it, though, so unless it's immediately before bathtime I still have to do one wipe.) Today he threw me out before he was done (but after two stories and a great deal of action in the pot). For the past few weeks we've been encouraging him to do things "all by himself" (because he's in that phase now with everything) and walking him through the steps. "Take your shoes off, then take your shorts and undies off, then get your step stool..." It was quite lovely to sit on the couch and listen to him read Curious George out loud, even if it did just last two minutes.

I don't like to poo at school

2009-05-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

"Here Mommy, I don't want these french fries. I don't feel well. My tummy hurts. I want to go home and poo poo. I don't like to poo poo at school."

I suppose it wasn't too surprising, given that he's been holding it in all day for nearly a year now. This past week he has been saying he needs to poo and getting up and heading to the bathroom all by himself, as well as throwing me out at the end and wiping his bum himself. He still holds onto his wee until you take him, though. It's just a matter of time, though; probably when he finally has all his teeth.

Look no pants! (Or puddles...)

2009-05-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

I took the plunge last night and sent the wee man to bed without a pull-up on. He woke up twice to wee on the potty, and several more times to visit the booby bar (strep throat being nasty and all) and then woke up nice and dry and made a big wee in the toilet. Hurray!

Figuring out the nights

2009-02-25T20:37:00.000-08:00

The small boy had his second birthday last week, and with a new year comes a new beginning. Two nights in a row, at his first waking his dad went in and he was dry initially, but wet by the time I got my bum in there. Last night daddy decided to try him peeing on the toilet, which actually worked, but there was a bit of crying involved. The small boy just doesn't like bright lights and cold toilets after the comfort of mommy's Tempur-Pedic knock-off bed.

Tonight I substituted the potty for the toilet, which had fewer tears and a quicker return to happy sleep for the small boy. It was quite a fantastic wee, too. No wonder he wakes up crying. He has typically been dry after this first wee until morning, but I'm not ditching the pull-ups any time soon. (Because it's no fun having wee in your bed.)

All by himself

2009-01-28T19:42:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I heard a din in the bathroom and went to have a look and Johnny had his trousers and undies on the floor, his toilet seat on the toilet, and was climbing up. Twice this past weekend I walked in on him with his step stool up against the toilet, seat up, on step stool, trying to get trousers down to have a wee. He's been out of nappies in the day for about 6 months now, and will be 2 in three weeks time.

Update

2008-12-14T18:54:00.000-08:00

Things are going really well. We got a $5 step stool and since then it has been much easier. Having to undress him from the waist down for a wee was really getting annoying (just dropping his drawers meant his penis pointed upwards and I got an unwelcome spraying) and success on the home front has translated into an overnight success at nursery.

When the experienced teachers left, suddenly my potty trained at home and previously at nursery son was having up to three accidents a day. They keep a time record of toilet breaks on the daily sheet, and when I noticed a pattern of accidents being 20 min after a toilet break I had it sussed that he wasn't weeing when being sat on the toilet. They protested that he was and it was "just Johnny" to have an accident 20 min later, but after agreeing to do standing up toilet breaks for him, he instantly stopped having accidents. (Well, there was one last week, half an hour after waking up for his nap, three hours after his pre-nap toilet break, which you can't really fault the little guy for!)

Poos are much quicker now, too. He asks to sit down when he needs to poo and just gets on with the job. This may be because I took all the toys and books out of the bathroom so we'll take one or two books or toys in with us, and that's it. He's definitely a home toilet kind of guy, and it took a lot of coaxing on day four(!) to get him to poo at my cousin's house. Since then he has gone at his Grandpa's (though we discovered the hard way with a less mild case ourselves that he had rotavirus at the time!) and his friend's house.

In the past week he has been taking his own trousers and undies off, as well as putting them on (two legs in one hole or backwards stylee) and finally succeeding in putting his shoes on. He hasn't dropped his drawers in connection with going to the loo except yesterday at his friend's house, when we turned around to find him naked from the waist down with a big puddle on the kitchen floor. It was quite bizarre and totally out of character. I hotfooted it over when I caught him later in the living room with his pants around his ankles. (Thank God as it's carpetted and that was when he made a poo!)

Time to wee like a man

2008-10-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

I'm getting increasingly frustrated with the half hour toilet sessions, especially the ones that don't end with a poo. The puzzles are going out of vogue, and books are definitely in now that he's learning the (entire) alphabet and starting to recognise words. (By "words" I mean, "cow" and "moo" which he sometimes confuses.) When the reason for the half hour toilet breaks began to look more like "Mommy will read to me for half an hour" than "Oh boy I'm having a hard time making this poo" enough was enough. It also helps that he can now mostly distinguish between "I need to wee" and "I need to poo." Another motivator is that he's in jeans now instead of shorts, and so toilet breaks mean removing shoes, trousers, undies, etc. and it's getting to be quite a faff, especially on-the-go.

He has been weeing standing up outside from just about the get-go, and has been weeing sitting backwards on adult toilets when out and about, so the natural progression was to meld the two at gymnastics last week when they conveniently had a step stool in the bathroom. We now do these at home, too, when I'm just Frankly Not In The Mood to sit for half an hour on the cold metal bathtub which is uninsulated and exposed to the elements in the crawlspace under our house.

Teething regression

2008-10-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

I cleaned up two puddles yesterday (one in the morning, the other in the evening) and Johnny came home from nursery with two bags of soggy clothes. I already cleaned up one puddle today, but that's probably because he had a massive wee in his nappy just before waking up, which leaked and wet the bed, so I didn't put him on the toilet when we woke up. I'm sure it's not helping that h is becoming very forthright with "NO!" but then toilet training isn't a race, is it?

Nevertheless, I'm blaming it all on the two molars about to erupt through his bottom jaw. He was positively charming at bedtime last night, but woke up three times before we went to bed (got drugs on the last one) and then nursed all night long, which he did the night before, too. This morning, after stripping him down to the buff, we lay snuggling and he took my finger and shoved it into his mouth so he could have a good chew on it. Thanks, Johnny, but Mommy already got the memo. Anyway, if he doesn't want to spend time sitting on the toilet while his teeth hurt, I suppose that's his prerogative, isn't it?

As evidence that it was all me...

2008-09-24T19:07:00.000-07:00

... Johnny had accident-free days on Monday and today. In fact, this afternoon he went several hours without a wee. I got off from work early and we went to the zoo and his last potty trip was 3:40 pm and we didn't get home until 6:15pm. I'd asked him multiple times if he needed a wee (no) and dropped his drawers three times ("No Mommy") and fully expected a puddle in the car seat but he was perfectly dry. He didn't even pour his water all over himself in the car.

A bit of a regression this weekend...

2008-09-21T10:22:00.001-07:00

... and I mean me, of course, not him. I've had to clean up a few puddles because I've asked if he needs to wee, and of course he's answered "no" because that's the only answer he gives to question. "Do you love mommy?" --No. "Would you like a cuddle?" --No. "Is there any reason Daddy shouldn't roast you on a spit and feed your bones to Inja?" --No. "Do you need to wee?" --No. I say I've regressed because in the past I wouldn't have taken no for an answer, or even asked a question, I would've said "Let's go make a wee." I suppose my excuse is I'm a little tired and I've been taking advantage of the fact that for the first time, he is amusing himself without burning the house down. I even got to unpack the dishwasher and clean the kitchen yesterday while Kurt had a lie-in!

I was taken a bit by surprise when he was in his nappy ready for his nap and playing with his toilet toys in the lounge and made a poo. Grunt grunt... "Are you making a poo?" --No.

First dry night!

2008-09-08T05:36:00.000-07:00

Holy cow. DH was remarkably underwhelmed.

... make that weekend!

2008-09-07T17:01:00.001-07:00

Wooo hoooooo!

First 100% accident-free day

2008-09-06T17:47:00.001-07:00

Does that mean he's officially potty trained now? (Well, during the day, anyway.)

Cracked Nursery...

2008-09-06T13:48:00.000-07:00

If nursery won't notice my cues for poo... ... I'll just save all my poos for home, thankyouverymuch. Just like his daddy.

He's down to an average of one accident a day at nursery, which is rather fab. Still coming home with three wet pairs of undies, because nursery still hasn't figured out that you have to take his undies all the way off so he can get his legs around the loo and not pee all over the floor/his undies, which are currently a convenient splash guard.

No accidents at home today (nearly 4pm) though in a nappy for nap, which is running late due to monster molars. Had him almost asleep at 11:15, but he objected so strenuously to me removing my boob (which he wasn't doing anything with) that he was Wide Awake and Not Going Back To Sleep Thanks. Have consequently changed plans three times. We were going to go look at the animals at the fair, but then didn't think he'd last, so decided to go to the zoo, then he went back to sleep and now as it's nearly 4pm and the zoo closes at 6pm, we're looking like heading to the zoo again!

A rant against Gina Fording

2008-08-23T18:04:00.000-07:00

Gina Ford must've been in cahoots with Pampers or Huggies or someone because as near as I can tell, she's to blame for this wave of potty training kids at close to three. There are a number of things that really bother me about this pervading methodology.

1. It is not based on the child's development.
Sure, there are "signs of readiness," but you'll have a hard time convincing me that these "signs" first manifest conveniently around summer holidays. It's such a disservice to so many parents to say that their child is incapable of learning how to hold it for the loo until they can remove their own clothing, and ask in a full sentence. There is no link between mastering those skills and mastering the skill of not peeing or pooing your pants. There is, however, a link between mastering those skills and a parent not having to do much to help the child use the loo.

2. It assumes that development occurs in giant leaps, instead of on a continuum.
Well, I'm sure that development does have several steps to it, but anyone who's had a child whose sleep is disturbed by developmental leaps knows that kids don't learn and master a new skill in a day or a week.

3. There is no accounting for the fact that some children are not adaptable.
... which is ironic given that Gina Ford is the Queen of the Schedule. Surely she understands that it's difficult for a child to adapt to a sudden upending of the status quo? It genuinely upsets some kids' applecarts that suddenly they are no longer ALLOWED to wee/poo where they've been doing so their entire life.

4. Not wallowing in your own excrement is its own reward.
I mean honestly, aren't you more motivated by not having to sit in a puddle of your own wee until someone gets around to checking your nappy than by a star on a chart or a chocolate button? And why oh why, is a poo worth two chocolate buttons but a wee only one? That is one hell of a weird value statement right there!

Forget if they're ready... are you?

2008-08-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

I've been reading Mumsnet and I really need to stop. It has made me realise something though, and that's that potty training readiness has nothing to do with the child, and everything to do with the parents. If you're ready and you have reasonable expectations, it'll be a success.

Still pooing in his pants at school...

2008-08-14T19:54:00.001-07:00

... but spent Tuesday and Wednesday in undies and only went through one pair. (That's right, the one he made a poo in.)

We started introducing the potty sign to help the teachers discern when he needs to go, but I think it's a bit late. He can do the sign perfectly well, but just doesn't sign when he says "wee wee" because it's been so long now that he's just been using the word. Oh well. He so much prefers to poo on a toilet I'm sure he and the teachers will get it right one day. (Soon, too, if they keep him in undies!)

Getting better at school now

2008-08-06T19:06:00.001-07:00

Three in the can today at school, and none on the floor at home. (Unlike yesterday, typical because his great-granny arrived.) Poo still going in the nappy at school, unfortunately, which does make me feel a little sorry for the poor guy. He really much prefers to get it into the toilet and hasn't done one in a nappy at home in quite some time. Still, I'm not sure what they'd make of him waving bub-bye to his poo. His dad taught him that in the early days, and I can picture him as an adult, unable to flush one down without at least mentally going "bub-bye poo-poo."

Completely clean & dry morning

2008-08-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Well, the first wee was a near-miss, standing in the bathroom with toilet ready, as I pulled the nappy off there was a wee fountain in mid-spout so I pulled the nappy back up before putting him on the toilet. Since then, though, there have been two poos and three or four wees, all upon request, and a pristine pair of undies taken off for the naptime nappy. In the past we've typically caught the first wee, but the second one has taken all three of us by surprise.

My favourite one was wee number two, which came so quickly after number one that Daddy declared he was lying. Sitting backwards on the adult toilet seat, he proved Daddy wrong.

Edited: He was dry until 4pm, one wee around 5pm in his undies that never left a mark. Such a Big Boy today! His great granny will be so proud when she arrives on Tuesday.

Spoke too soon?

2008-07-24T04:22:00.000-07:00

Well, the euphoria of normal poo always in the toilet lasted a total of two days before the onset of teething tummy from hades. The poor boy was literally screaming in pain when his daddy wiped his bum after a torrent in the toilet last night, and then screaming in pain when landing in the bath, during nappy changes (despite liberal application of Butt Paste) and until his ibuprofen kicked in. Not surprisingly there have been a few in the pants, but still at least half in the can, so still doing well despite a dodgy tum.

Officially Poo Trained!

2008-07-21T19:09:00.000-07:00

Now that his upset tummy is gone he has asked every time for poos. He seems to be holding 'em in for the toilet, too. Will have to have A Word with the daycare folks as Ashley says they're not giving him much time on the toilet and at this stage it's still taking him 5 minutes or so to squeeze one out.

Had another wee in the garden this morning. Oh the fun of summer... he was streaking around the yard for a good 10 minutes before climbing into his (empty) splash pool and turning on his little hose.

Really coming together now

2008-07-18T16:29:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if the dodgy tummy from the antibiotics for ten days gave him practice or if he's just getting the hang of things, but it's really going great lately. There was a 3:30am toilet break earlier this week, which resulted in a Wide Awake Boy, half an hour of comfort nursing, another wee, and then cuddles with Daddy which took all of 2 minutes to result in a sleeping boy. He even started asking at daycare yesterday, but so far only Ms Ashley pays any attention to his toilet cues there. What's amazing is that it has been chaos there for the past three weeks with them back in the infant room, rearranged, with 12 kids. Yowzers.

My favourite first of this week, however, was when Daddy was still in the shower when he had to "wee wee" so we went outside with Inja and he watered the pumpkins. He was a little hesitant at first, but got into the swing of things amidst all the praise.

Holy cow he's getting it!

2008-07-06T18:11:00.000-07:00

Johnny used the phrase "wee wee" half a dozen times today to mean he had to go. Mostly it was to poo, which is you know, funny, but holy cow apart from two wet farts he has only soiled two pull-ups today. He has been staying dry from about 10pm or 11pm until morning, too, which means we're going through one nappy at night. That's not bad seeing as two months ago we were going through four.

Let's see if this success can translate into daycare or if the mayhem there during the building works means he'll be wrapped in a pull-up and changed every other hour.

Wee wee, poo poo

2008-07-05T18:44:00.001-07:00

Johnny's in the midst of an step change in word acquisition. He has been acquiring new words consistently for a few weeks now, but this past week has seen him add a word or two a day. Last Sunday in the car, Kurt thought it would be funny to teach him poo-poo. Johnny thought it was pretty funny, too, and was happy to mimic Daddy.

We don't get much of a chance to advance in potty training during the week, and with ongoing building works at daycare last week and next week, they've had their hands full with a bigger class size and Johnny hasn't been put on the toilet more than once a day, if that. Yesterday, however, we got to put poo-poo to use. Today he had a bit of an upset tummy, and twice he announced "wee wee" to which I replied "do you need to wee" and he ran to the toilet and tried to climb on before producing wee wee and poo poo.

It's quite comical to see the look on his face when he busts out a barrage of gas and poo from behind, only to have me smile and say "poo poo." A puzzled look crosses his face and he looks over his shoulder, points to his bum and repeats "poo poo."

Starting to feel natural

2008-06-23T20:44:00.001-07:00

It's two weeks on again, and I can't imagine life without toilet training. I think it is really contributing to the success that we're using the toilet and not a potty. Yes, it is a step backwards for independence in that he needs help getting up and down, but it also means that we hang out with him there, sitting opposite him on the edge of the bath, at eye-level. We have fun, and sometimes he does a wee or a poo or both.

I'd be lying if I said he never balks at going on the loo. Sometimes he just doesn't need to go and doesn't want to sit on the loo and he'll contort himself and sometimes you can force his bum down and sometimes you can't. Usually in those situations I just let him run off (cackling), but sometimes I need to change his undies and it's easier if he's sitting still so I make him sit long enough to swap 'em and there's no harm done. I have to say, though, as the temper tantrums become more frequent, that we got a distractable baby. He likes to throw a good strop, but a few beeps of the horn on his little car and he's off and playing again.

Daycare started putting him on the toilet more often last week after a decree from the director that they should all be in undies all day long. One day he peed on the toilet four times! I pointed out that it would not be fun for them fishing poo out of undies every day (he poos around 10am) so they're keeping him in a pull-up until that's out of the way. It was probably a silly move - a few days and they'd start watching out for the Very Obvious Signs of Imminent Poo, but I had the misfortune to fish a rather sticky one out of some undies on Saturday and it was not as easy as the rolling log variety, I must confess.

I haven't bought nappies in three weeks - partly thanks to using cloth inside my gDiapers and partly because we're going through on average 2 nappies a day now. I bought pull-ups two weekends ago and took them in to daycare last Monday to be told he still has half a bag left. I'm loving his tightie whities and so's my bank balance.

Early Results

2008-06-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

For a couple of days now Johnny has been running to the bathroom and trying to climb onto the toilet if he needs to wee when he's asked. We're still only catching the morning wee and maybe one more per day, but that's two nappies saved.

On Saturday after his nap I tried to rush him onto the toilet but he did not produce. We then went back to the bed to snuggle and nurse and after a few minutes he popped up, pointed to the bathroom and said "da." We ran off and popped him on the toilet and he made a wee! Very proud mommy indeed.

Later when he started to poo Kurt grabbed him midway and popped him onto the toilet to finish the job. Very proud wife!

Sunday I sat him on the toilet when I noticed the first signs of poo and after more than five minutes of happy playing atop the throne he got a look of utter terror (many smiles and "good jobs" and "it's okays" from me) and then produced. He brightened up so I thought he was done, got him off, wiped his bum and let him run naked to the kitchen for his bath. Unfortunately while it was running he started to squat again and in the dash to the loo we had a few logs on the floor.

This morning after a wee on the toilet Johnny had a rather shifty look (knock-knees, etc.) and while I was having a wee he asked to come up. I thought he wanted cuddles, but the wet undies we discovered soon after revealed another missed cue. At least now I know what to look for and the small boy is giving notice of the need to go. Good boy!

Daycare were surprisingly cool about his y-fronts with soaker, so once they start to catch the poos hopefully they'll be okay with moving to undies. I don't think they're putting him on the toilet very often, but I'm not going to press the issue until we're having more success at home. I put him on every time I visit at lunchtime and he's more than happy to sit there now.

Baby-led potty training

2008-06-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

We've started with a very laid-back approach and no expectation that he'll be out of nappies anytime soon. I'm looking to the potty training version of BLW - doing things appropriate to his stage of development, no pushing, backing off if he gets upset or has had enough, etc. The general things we're doing are:

1. Routine. He is able to process sequences and will perform a series of actions in order. We sit on the toilet first thing in the morning, first thing when we get in in the evening, straight after naps (well, after a cuddle and a breastfeed and suggesting it to him, which is usually enough to have him getting up and heading for the lav).

2. Mimicking. He gets to watch mommy pee and daddy has said, but not yet followed through, that he'll keep his drawers on and sit on the toilet for the little boy to see. He never was interested in sitting on a potty, but sitting on the toilet and brushing his teeth with mom is a treat.

3. Room association. Nappy changes are done in the bathroom now. His poo is dropped into the toilet and we have flushable wipes and he gets to see it wash away.

4. Verbal suggestion. If I see him making a poo I say "let's go and make your poo in the bathroom" or "you can make a poo in the toilet if you want." Usually by the time we get to the bathroom he's done, but it's early days still.

5. Books. He has a special toilet book which is about a dog who makes a wee and a poo. We may add to the stash if he gets bored of that one.

6. Tightie whities. I got a dozen pairs of tightie whities with a little pocket to stuff to catch accidents. The comfort of thin cotton on his bum and the discomfort of cold, wet cotton are hopefully incentives. He is showing signs of knowing when he's about to make a wee, so we're getting there.

I don't expect dry nights anytime soon as he reverse cycles, but he has lately been going dry from midnight to waking and two mornings recently we've caught all of the first pee in the toilet whereas in the past he'd fill two nappies!